My plan for how to homeschool elementary school

Question of the day- What is your homeschool style?

SO, after reading all the different homeschool styles, and finding I was a failure at all of them.... I made up my own.  Now, just to clarify the word "failure" I mean, I couldn't stick with doing all of the ideas of any one theory of education, and my kids... were no help. My little free spirits find the idea of unschooling great, but it turns out, they still expect me to help them figure out how to feed their brains tons of interesting stuff each day.  And if I had to put in all the work to come up with what we were going to do, I was just going to do it.  

This, below, is the first draft of my new theory of education, based on child development, and not making myself or the kids insane.  Because really, at the end of the day, my goal is to not be made crazy, or to have to pay for tons of therapy for the kids later.   Please feel free to post suggestions for what to name this new theory of education in the comments.  

Kindergarten-
Read great books to your child.  Read easy readers with your finger under the words, read harder books out loud, read picture books, and if your child will listen, chapter books.
Read books and then do things that go along with the books- a craft, food, map or game all make books come alive.
Go on adventures- the library, the zoo, museums, a pet store, the bank, any outing can be an adventure to a small child.
Make things with your hands- paint, use clay, glue things together, string beads, finger knit, whatever.
Sing songs- learning to memorize and sing songs strengthens memory skills.
Do a lot of playing.
Have playdates and let your child learn to get along with other people.
Play with learning some words in a foreign language, keeping doing some of this every year, just so the brain gets the idea and is ready to learn more languages later.  This will also show your child that there can be many ways to say the same thing, and prepare them to have a great vocabulary.

First grade:
Learn to write all the letters - not just draw them.
Once she can copy all the letters, have your child copy sentences and point out the punctuation and capitalization and everything.
Have your child tell you stories, and help him learn to do it in a way that makes sense, so he learns to communicate clearly. Write down those stories so he can see his words in writing.
Learn to add.
Have a wall calendar with dates, classes and events on it, help your child start to find the date.
Do things your child is interested in, whether that is math, history, art, science or cooking, but be sure you are doing it a few times a week, at least.
Learn to loom knit.
And keep doing everything from the Kindergarten list.
Learn to recite simple poems or nursery rhymes, at a rate of one every week or 2.  This prepares the brain for further memorization later.

Second grade
Keep working on nice handwriting.  Start the year with more copy work.  Add in having your child write something as you tell it to them- dictation, when your child is ready.  Hopefully, by the end of the year they will be ready to write their own sentences, but if not, they can tell you a sentence, you write it, and let them copy their own words.
Keep reading lots of cool books to your kid, kids never get too old to be read to, and the huge number of random things your child can learn from books is amazing.
Have your child read out loud to you from a book that isn't too hard for him, a few times a week.  I am an expert in handwriting, but not in teaching reading,  here, it seemed to happen by magic. If your child hasn't learned to read yet, this is the year I would really start working on that skill, but there is nothing wrong with reading out loud to your child until he or she is able to do it well.
Learn to subtract, and keep practicing adding. Experiment with larger numbers and interesting math terms and symbols.
Do art appreciation by looking at cool art- I take apart calendars to hang up the art work.
Do music appreciation by listening to lots of different kinds of music, and talking about it.
Add one  formal subject- whatever works for your child- I do History and like the program from Story of the World.   We read the lessons and do go along activities from the activities book, or from Pinterest.
Do random, real life science- like grow plants, read books about the human body, have science experiments and kits.   There is nothing wrong with random, real life science of watching the seasons change, and melting snow with a hair dryer.
Keep doing everything that was working from kindergarten and first grade, but don't overwhelm yourself.  If your history project has to double count as your art for the week, no big deal.


Third grade
Learn to write in cursive (can put this off a year, if your child needs to), but please don't skip it.  Learning to write in cursive will allow your child to write faster, possibly neater (learning to write for the second time sometimes goes better), and be able to read all the amazing documents of history that are written in cursive.   You should plan to start again with copy work, working toward dictation and then self writing in cursive.  Allow your child to continue to print until they have the hang of cursive.
Learn spelling as a subject- I like Spelling Power, but you may find something else that works for your child
Learn to multiply.
Learn to tell time, if you haven't already.
Keep doing whatever was working from last year in art and music, or find a new way to explore those, a well rounded education involves the arts
Keep doing History
Keep learning about whatever your child wants to
Add some household skills, like basic cooking
Memorize and recite a few longer poems

Fourth grade
Keep working on handwriting- cursive takes practice.
Spelling
Grammar- a formal lesson on this is new this year
Learn to divide, and practice all previous math skills.  Learn about graphing or other random interesting math skills
History
Science- could be done any way that works for you- lap books, co-op classes, experiments, etc. but this is the age I make sure I have added a formal study.  For us, that means asking my child what science topics interest her, and finding a program that focuses on things she is interested in.

Fourth grade is when I feel it is important to start to be more formal about my kid's education, but I still don't want to have an overwhelming day.  Most of our subjects are done on a rotating basis, so we never do all our subjects in a single day.   I generally opt to do Science on Tuesdays and Thursdays, History on Mondays and Wednesdays, and use Friday for experiments or hands on projects from one or the other.  Spelling and Grammar alternate with each other as much as possible.  Even math is not an every day subject for us, I find a few times a week is enough at this age.


Fifth Grade
Hand writing
Spelling
Grammar
History
Science
Math- review all the basic stuff, then move on to fractions, decimals, graphing, etc.
Loom knit a hat- or try another hand work task, beading, crochet, knitting, and sewing.
Add music lessons if you can- I got lucky and could add a band program for homeschoolers.
Memorize something that is a little challenging- like the preamble to the Constitution.

Also of note, I never, ever, do all these subjects in one day.  My weekly schedule breaks up most of the subjects into having only about 3 subjects each day, and subjects rotate.  I also feel free to take time to do whatever other things I think will help my children learn about their world, themselves, or just seem fun and worthwhile.   Most of us remember very little of what we learned in elementary school. We learned to read, write, and do basic math.  Sometimes we did some cool stuff that stayed with us, but much of the days were full of random stuff we no longer recall.  Don't sweat all that stuff. And know that they really only have to know how to read, write and do math, by the time they are done with elementary school, so if it takes longer than other kids, they are still just fine.

For handwriting, I have used and like the program by Handwriting without Tears, for my 2 reluctant writers.  The work books review how to make each letter, helping to develop good writing habits, and the letters are made simple and straight, without fancy slants or curlicues to confuse a child.  My youngest child has a stronger interest in writing, and I may choose to teach her a prettier form of cursive when the day comes, because HWT is not pretty, but very functional handwriting. Most people, only need functional handwriting.

In history, science, grammar and writing, we don't always finish the book we start in a single school year.  If the book is still working for us, I just roll it over and continue it the next school year.  The 4 year cycle of Story of the World took me about 6 years to do with my oldest, partially because we took extra time to explore some of the time periods, partially because at one point, she was too young for the material (we started it earlier than I recommend above) so we put it on the shelf a while, and partially because I kept misplacing the darn book.   I am now starting the cycle for the second time, and all 3 of my kids are doing it with me.  I have no regrets about it taking longer last time, and the only thing I hope to really do differently is to loose the book less.    Personally, my goal is never about finishing a book, it is about making sure my kids are learning all the foundational skills they need to develop, so that when they start middle school- they can write a good sentence with proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

  Middle school is when I want my kids to start writing short essays and understand higher level math.  The elementary years are just about laying a foundation to put a higher level of education on top of.  Their understanding of history and science are also a foundation, created to put higher level concepts on top of.   When, as an older student they see a story about Vikings, I want them to have an idea who the vikings were and where they lived, not already know all the stories.   And I expect my middle school age kids to do middle school age work, that prepares them for high school.  I never want to push down skills from a higher level onto younger children.  I want to create a knowledge base and set of skills that my children can climb up and stand on when they get to the next level of their education.

Homeschooling styles, what I learned from each one

Question of the day:  What is your homeschooling style?  

When my oldest child was much smaller- I went through a time of being obsessed with homeschool styles, I read them ALL- or at least all that I could find, looking for the perfect fit for us.  It turned out none of them was my perfect fit, but I did learn a lot of great ideas.  So, I did what so many homeschool websites told me "Take what you like, and leave the rest."  This is a list of things I decided to take, and what I didn't take, from some of those styles.  These summaries are WAY too short to explain an entire theory, so if you are new, and see something interesting, do you own research and learn more.

Charlotte Mason-
 Read lots of great books- GREAT
Go for walks outside and appreciate nature- I can do that!
Have short class periods for small children, working on longer ones when they get older- Makes sense. 
Be a super teacher, make the kids talk about art a lot, teach them to draw EVERY DAY- Um, no

So, what I got from Charlotte Mason, was a wonderful book list, which we often worked from.  A goal of getting outside, and trying to experiment with drawing.  I also loved her idea of teaching fine artists, however, her method just didn't work for me.  So, what I do, is I get a calendar of the art of a famous artist.  I take it apart, and hang up anywhere from 3 to all 12 of the pictures on the wall of our homeschooling space.  We talk about which pictures we like best, and why.  I change the calendar as often as I feel like it- anywhere from 2-6 times a year. 

Waldorf
Do lots of handwork (knit and stuff)- COOL
Let your child help do tasks like bake bread and make snacks- Awesome
Read sweet little fairy tales- Can do
Do art, music, drama, dancing, and foreign languages all teacher led- Uh, oh, not so sure I can handle that
Play outside every day, no matter what the weather- Crap- I am a weather wimp.

So, what I took from Waldorf- we tried to play outside in the rain sometimes- which isn't as bad as I thought it was.  I try to foster my child's ability to do things for herself (Montessori is into that one too).  I also try to do a lot of "handwork." The Waldorf version of this, did not really work for us.  Have you ever tried to felt wool into a baby chick?  Or mold beeswax into ANYTHING?  That stuff is amazingly hard.  Instead, we found crafts and activities that worked for us.  My kids learned to loom knit, instead of knitting with knitting needles, for example.   

Montessori
Do lots and lots of hands on stuff with TONS of materials- Um, that gets expensive, but cool
Do lots of practical life skills- Sounded good, but kid #1 hated it, while #3 loves it
Teach reading and math in a special way- Crap, more things I didn't know how to do

I did purchase and make some Montessori materials, and there are lots of good ideas on line.  But my oldest child only wanted to do any given activity about once, and move on, so investing in the stuff, just wasn't a good way for us to go.  I picked and chose materials that worked for us, and left the rest.  I still look for good montessori materials for my kids, but just can't do it whole hearted. 

Unschool
Let your kid learn at her pace about whatever she wants to, it will all work out in the end, no worries.

Turns out this gave me TONS of worries.  I am sorry, but some people need to actually be taught some things, or they don't learn them.  My child needed to be taught the right way to form her letters, though I waited until later than the usual to do it, and she HAD to be taught spelling, she just didn't absorb it magically.   However, honoring her as a learner, going at her pace, and letting her have the ability to choose as much as was reasonable, worked well for us.

Classical Education
Read lots of great book- OK- great, I was already on board
Do a 4 year history cycle, staring with ancient times and going through modern- COOL
Teach Latin- Crap
Teach your child to read and write at a pace that works for them, but here are a lot of easy to follow suggestions- Awesome!  I needed that.

Actually, I have used the Story of the World history books all the way through the program now, and  have just loved them.  They made history engaging, and actually taught about the whole world, not just Europe and the US. I also liked the methods of teaching writing, by staring with the child doing copy work, and stating narrations that the parent writes for the child, so the child gets to separate the act of handwriting from thinking of what to write.  I have used various writing and grammar books that are from "classical education" but we used them at the pace of my own child, not the one on the cover (Writing with Ease and Writing with Skill.)  I also have ended up teaching latin to my oldest child, but not because the program suggested it, but because she asked to learn it.  I don't actually know Latin, so we had to search for an interesting curriculum that we could learn together.  As a middle schooler, she will be doing the program Visual Latin, which is video based, and I don't have to know anything to teach it.  However, the Classical Education model, has some pretty firm ideas about what, how and when children should learn certain things, and that part, just didn't make sense to me, or my kid, so we took what worked, and left the rest.   I also found the huge number of things to teach, overwhelming, so I didn't do it.


I read lots of theory books, and then would spend time testing things out on my child.  For us, sticking 100% to any individual theory, made us miserable, so I would then switch to another.  Eventually, I figured out my own style, mixed from high lights of all the many things I read, but that will be a separate post.  The oddest thing about making my own style, is that as I educate my kids, I have found that each of my kids would be happiest doing more things from one style or another.  The oldest would rather unschool, the middle child would be a great Waldorf student, and the youngest Montessori style is a fit for.  But as a mom, I can't manage to do all that.  Finding a style that works for your family, has to mean finding a style that works for both the teacher and the student.   As my children grow, I try to pick and choose things we will all enjoy and learn from, no matter which theory they fit into.  For us, its about having a great educational experience, not about following anyone's rules of how to do it.

Homeschooling Kindergarten

Question of the Day: I am planning to homeschool my chid for Kindergarten. 
 What do you recommend for curriculum? 

 Actually, I don't believe in curriculum for Kindergarten. I believe that "The work of children is play"- and that for the years of preschool and kindergarten, play is very important. What research has been done on the topic, has shown that children who have a play based kindergarten year, do better in the long run than kids who have academic experiences in kindergarten.   As a result, I create a playspace that is designed to help my children develop, learn and grow.  If you want to read a pretty serious piece on kindergarten and why play is important, this article might help- http://www.thestrong.org/sites/default/files/play-studies/Crisis_in_Kindergarten.pdf

 Here is my list of essential items to have for Kindergarten:

 Wooden Unit blocks - Using the large unit blocks builds hand strength, needed later for writing and other skills.  Unit blocks are a great hands on way for a child to learn math- shapes, sizes, directions- above, below, shorter, taller, adding and subtracting, can all be games you play with your child during block time.  They also provide for learning early physics and engineering, and for valuable imaginative play- houses, roads, castles, and zoos, just to name a few, have all come to life from our block set. For a wonderful discussion on the importance of block play, I recommend reading this article:
http://barclayblocks.com/about_blocks.htm at Barclay Blocks, a company that makes hardwood maple blocks here in the USA.


 Art supplies are a must; including pastels, crayons, paints, papers, glue scissors Art helps children develop fine motor skills, again needed for writing, but also for every day tasks, like buttoning their clothes and tying their shoes.  Learning to cut on a line developes hand- eye coordination, that carries over into hundreds of other skills.  Pinching small amounts of glitter onto paper strengthens small fingers.  And creating a piece of art your child is proud of, develops self-esteem.   Feel free to introduce a wide variety of crafts, while keeping in mind your child's skill level.  A child with fine motor delays may enjoy stringing beads on a pipe cleaner instead of a more difficult string- but with a little thought, you can figure out how to make activities the right amount of challenging for your child.

Games- I love games, as a learning tool for social skills, life skills, and often math, logic and problem solving.  When you play a game with a child, they learn how to take turns, how to succeed, and how to fail. And then how to play again after a failure, a life skill doesn't get enough credit.  I really like the games by Family Pastimes, which are all cooperative games that encourage children to learn how to work together with others for a common goal, and all the players win or loose together.  

Puzzles are also a classic toy that develops visual perceptual skills, problem solving, logic and reasoning.  In my home, we have a wide variety of puzzles available- both simple and complex- which I can work with the child, and with a number of topics to choose from.  We have a puzzle of a map of the US, and other places, to learn geography.  I also love the puzzles made by Chelona.
They have a wide variety of creative puzzles with layers showing plants growing or chicks hatching.

Dress up clothes, allow children to see themselves differently, to imagine adventures and makes the cutest playdates ever.  I also love how children get to practice dressing skills, over and over, learning to do zippers, buttons, and even velcro- though if you can find some dress up clothes that are not all velcro, even better!  Check out your local thrift stores for interesting pieces for you child to experiment with.

Child sized tools, like a mop, broom, rake, knife or even a sponge cut in half to fit a smaller hand, allow children to help around the house, and to imitate adult work.  I have a child's knife that my little ones can use to help cut up fruit for a snack.  And my youngest loves to use her small mop to help with the floor, I have to use a towel to soak up the water when she is done- but she gets the chance to learn a life skill, increase her hand strength, and coordination.

 Some kind of small men, dolls,  or people- to have tiny adventures with are also necessary, in my opinion.  Small animals, dwarves, or whatever can live in block houses, or wear tiny homemade clothes.  They can also be a way for a small child to practice social skills, as their dolls fight and make up, talk to each other and work out problems.  As far as I can tell, most of our dolls have horrible social problems my children have had to coach them through.

Books- just lots  and lots of books.  Read to your kindergartner- get books from the library, read even those horrible stories, like Captain Underpants, because that is what your child asked for.  The more you read to your child, the better your child will learn to read when she is ready.  And, honestly, a great stack of children's books can teach science, history, vocabulary, and almost everything a child of 5 needs to know.  If you need a help choosing good books and thinking of things to do, the book Before Five in a Row is a great option. Yes, it is listed as a preschool book, but it really is a great set of books for kindergarten, and you can always expand on the suggested activities by taking a quick trip to Pinterest.

 If you MUST do some academics, because your child is demanding them - Letters and Numbers for me- by Handwriting without Tears is the book all my children have learned to write with. And I recommend Zoo Phonics, Zoo phonics  which is a great program, because it uses many different ways to explore letter sounds, including having physical movements to appeal to the kinesthetic learner, pictures for the visual learner, and of course plenty of talking together for my auditory learner.  With one of my children I also started Life of Fred, Apples during the second half of the year, which is a very pleasant introduction to math. And all of them have gotten to explore online learning programs like Starfall which allows them to develop computer skills, and has some great math and reading games, that they can do while I wash the dishes.

No matter what your plan is, also remember that to a small child, almost anything can be a great field trip.  A trip to a pet store is a zoology lesson- looking at the fish and talking about what they eat, or how they breath  in water.  Take your child to the post office, and see the rows of post office boxes, ship a package or mail a letter and talk about how it will get where it is going.  Go to the grocery store and let your child weigh the produce.  Go to the bank, and let your child help make a deposit.  Take advantage of local museums, zoos, parks, festivals and wild life centers.  Go pick apples or plant some flowers.

Whatever you do, enjoy this special year- you only get one chance to have the funnest kindergarten year ever!

Sensory Integration Disorder in a classrooom

Question of the Day:  As a teacher, I suspect one of my kindergarten students has sensory integration problems.  How is this diagnosed and what can I do to help?  

Getting a diagnosis for sensory integration disorder or sensory processing disorder can be difficult, here is a link to a check list for parents or teachers to use as a screening tool:
http://www.spdfoundation.net/symptoms.html   As you can see, there are a lot of contradictory things, and not all children would have all those symptoms.  Diagnosis by an OT would generally involve asking questions like these, but the check list is much longer, and goes into more depth.  Every autistic child I have ever met has symptoms of SPD, and often children with other diagnosis's like ADHD do, too.

In sensory processing disorder or sensory integration disorder- the child does not take in sensory information about the world in the normal way.  A tag on a shirt may be very irritating, to the point the child cannot focus on anything else. A light touch may feel like a smack, and a tickle could be painful.  Often I see children who are overly sensitive to noises or smells.   Treating children with sever SPD, I have had the best luck with using the Willbarger brushing technique.  However, you need to find a trained professional to teach you this technique, and should not use it without training.

In genearl, the best treatment in a school setting is to see to it that the child is getting a steady diet of sensory input throughout the day.  I compare this to making sure the child is getting enough of all the right foods each day.  The body needs all the right nutrients to function properly each day.  It also needs a steady stream of sensory input, most of us get that from normal daily activities, but for a struggling child, they need more help. The same way my children need help to not choose to eat cookies all day.   Good sensory input, as part of a sensory diet, includes swinging, rocking, jumping, getting deep pressure to the joints, and making sure that multiple body parts are involved in doing heavy work.

Here is an example of how you could do a sensory diet with your entire kindergarten class.  This will of course need adaptations to fit into your schedule.

Start the morning with having children jump up and down about 10 times then get into pairs, sitting facing each other, and pull each other back and forth, in a rocking, boat rowing game.  After this activity, much of the class should be ready to focus on their work for a while.

A half hour later, teach the children to do isometrics, each child should put her/his palms together, fingers up, and push the hands against each other- encourage the kids to push for 5-10 seconds at a time, about 3 times.  Then switch to having the children hold hands clasped together in front of them- fingers locked together, one hand on top of the other, palms facing, and pull arms away from each other, but keeping hands clasped.  Repeat for 5-10 seconds at 3 times each.   This is a great simple way for a child to help their body focus and be ready for learning.  

You can help the children get the same kind of input by having them push on a wall, put palms together and push against a friend, do push ups, or cross monkey bars.  Having the children crawl around on the floor on hands and knees will also provide good input.   The key to having this be a good sensory diet, is to alternate what kind of input the children are getting about every 30 minutes, so that means the day needs to include some swinging, rocking, and large movements in addition to the pushing and pulling activities.    If your class room has a swing, have the children all take a turn swinging front to back 10 times each- more is not necessary, but know that spinning does not provide the same centering input.

Providing crunchy snacks, like carrot sticks, gives a nice sensory boost to the mouth. Many children are better able to sit still to listen to a story while eating something like that, because the mouth is getting the sensory input they need.

Make sure your class goes out to play and runs and climbs and all those things.  If rainy days mean that recess must take place inside, try to find ways for the children to still do active games.  A favorite of mine for getting lots of input for the children, while maintaining order, is to give each child a pingpong ball and a straw. The child must blow air through the straw, to push the pingpong ball, and follow it on hands and knees- do obstacle courses or races.  The kids get deep pressure through hands, knees and mouths- from the blowing- which leads to calmer kids later.

As a student gets older, and is in a classroom setting with less choices, it is important that the student either knows how to take a sensory break for himself- and do some of the activities above, in a way his teacher will allow, or has a way to get sensory input at his desk.  I have tied theraband (it is like a huge rubber band) to a child's chair legs for the child to be able to push on during class. Theraband I have also issued squeeze balls for a child to squeeze during class.

Giving your entire class a sensory break every 30 minutes, will help the entire class focus better.  There is no such thing as a child who will not benefit from a sensory diet.  The activities above, while focused on providing the right kind of sensations for the children, will also strengthen their upper bodies and fingers, improving their fine motor coordination.   There are of course many many more activities you could do with your class, I have tried here to suggest activities I have done with groups of small children that I felt worked well inside a class room setting.

How do we switch to Gluten Free eating? Advice on Food allergies and Celiac Disease

Question of the day:  My child just got diagnosed with Celiac Disease and food allergies.  Help!  I need to change us over to a gluten free diet, and I don't know where to start.  What should I do?

Three years ago, my oldest child was diagnosed with celiac disease and a number of food allergies.  We had about 3 days of doing Ok, and then I totally panicked.  What were we going to eat? Since we haven't starved to death, I have a lot of suggestions to share.

First, make a list of all the foods you ate before this diagnosis that you can all still eat, both meals and snacks.  Meals I had cooked before that we could still have included:  Chili, beef stew, vegetable soup, salads, roasted chicken, barbecue chicken, pot roast, baked potatoes, steak, steamed or roasted vegetables, grilled pork chops, grilled chicken, raw fruits, apple sauce and rice.  My kids ate a LOT of apple sauce and cheese sticks as snacks while I was figuring out our new diet.

Next, make a list of foods you can still have with some simple changes.  For us that list included that I could still make my meat loaf recipe, as long as I changed out the regular bread crumbs for gluten free ones, and served it with broccoli and roasted potatoes instead of mac and cheese.  There were also many meals we could change a little, such as having fajita steak and veggies on top of refried beans in a bowl, instead of on a tortilla.

Now, you are thinking- "I saw gluten free breads, pizzas and tortillas at the grocery store, should I just buy those?"  The answer is No.  Just don't do it, yet.  Those things will not taste like the ones you are used to, and you will be heartbroken by them. Wait a few weeks, or a month, until you have forgotten what really great pizza tastes like, before you have a gluten free one.  It will be better for waiting. Not all brands are created equally, and some breads, pastas and tortillas will eventually become palatable, but they just don't taste like the wheat versions.

On the topic of gluten free foods, you should know that most of them are just not very nutritious.  They are often made of simple flours that will convert straight to sugar in your body.  When my family went gluten free, I gained 25 pounds in the first year, because I didn't want any of the kids to feel deprived, so we had a lot of those replacement foods.  It was bad for me, and I don't think it gave my children the nutrition they needed to grow.  Today, I still make some gluten free mixes, but I try to add some nutrition, and only make them sometimes.  My favorite trick is to take a gluten free pancake mix and add shredded apples, cinnamon and a spoonful of ground flax seeds. It makes the pancakes more filling and adds a lot of nutrition.  I have also started cooking with coconut oil, to add good, healthy fats to my baked goods, instead of the canola oil I used to use.  I think it must be better for us, because one piece of cake now is much more satisfying and I don't feel like have to go back and eat the whole thing.

I also recommend getting a few new cookbooks.  When we went gluten free, I got a number of gluten free cookbooks, there isn't a single one I would recommend.  Too often they had recipes that were basically the same as my old cookbooks but with words like "And serve this sandwich on a gluten free loaf of french bread."  That sentence makes me stabby.  First off, I didn't need a gluten free cookbook to tell me how to make a sandwich on gluten free bread, and second of all, wonderful loaves of gluten free french bread are not exactly easy to find.  Instead of these, I suggest getting a good Paleo diet cookbook.  My first experience with a paleo cookbook made me SO happy.  The recipes left out my daughter's other food allergies of corn and soy, and no one tried to tell me how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on gluten free bread.  The recipes were inventive, and tasted good.

Now, there are going to be nights when you have to cook, because if your child has celiac disease, you can't exactly order a pizza- though awareness is increasing, and I do hope to someday be able to order a safe gluten free pizza that I know wasn't cross contaminated.  SO- my cheat meals of not exactly cooking including having some Tinkyada noodles in the house, and a jar of pasta sauce.  That brand of noodles is actually pretty good, and it makes for an easy dinner on occasion.  I also have been known to pick up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store- you will still need to read the label to make sure it doesn't include soy sauce or other wheat ingredients as flavoring, and a bag of salad. It also works to make a can of baked beans and some frozen french fries- again, be sure to check the label- some brands or flavors can be coated in wheat flour to make them "extra crunchy."    And learn to use your crockpot, so sometimes you can throw dinner in there at breakfast and know there will be something to eat at the end of a long day.

Making the transition is hard.  When we transitioned, we found that my husband, who had had digestive problems for years, was apparently celiac, too.  He lost lots of weight, has more energy, and has a better attitude for getting off of gluten.   My daughter, 3 years later, has grown to be an average sized person, instead of the tiny, frail child she was, she is healthier, gets sick less often, and when she does get sick, she gets well faster.  The benefits of this change are worth it.

And when I can't stand it anymore- I sneak out with a good friend and eat Italian food behind their backs.  Gluten and I are having a secret affair- don't tell my husband.

Why you should put your kids in swimming lessons this summer

Every kid should do swimming lessons wether your child is typical, autistic, ADHD, learning different, active or a couch potato.  No matter what- unless your child was given to you in a box and you were told not to feed him after midnight and don't get him wet.....   Obviously, swimming lessons can save a life, and swimming is a great healthy hobby, but those aren't why I am telling you to send your kid to lessons.  My reasons are all about what it does for your child outside the water.

 Brain Development-  When a child swims, she uses her arms and legs, neck and head,  and at the same time has to control her breathing- which is usually automatic.  This makes her brain create all kinds of new wiring to do all those things at once.  And that wiring will stay there, connecting the left side to the right side, so when she wants to play an instrument or catch a ball, or do complex word problems in math class, her brain will be more prepared.  And that breath control, works with the most basic part of the brain- the part that controls reflexes and impulses and will help your child be able to control herself better in lots of other situations.

Body Strength and Coordination- You can't swim without using both your arms and your legs, but you are also using your stomach, back and neck muscles.  She will be stronger from head to toe, which will help your child succeed at every other activity in her life from riding a bike and playing sports to sitting still in class.  

Sensory Integration and Body Awareness- Every minute your child is in the water, her body is being pushed on from every angle by the water.  That provides a pressure that helps her have a stronger awareness of where her toes and fingers are and every inch in between. That awareness will help her overall body coordination from large muscles needed to walk a straight line, to the tiny ones used for handwriting and typing.  

I have tried to put my kids in swimming lessons for 2 weeks every summer at our local YMCA or Rec center.  There are tons of places to do private lessons, but the Red Cross certified classes have been great for my kids.  You can find Swimming Lessons at the swimming lessons locator through the Red Cross website.  

BUT- My kid has a reason we can't do this:

ADHD-   Your child will get the physical activity and input from the water to help him focus and sit still after swimming lessons are over.  Right after lessons would be a great time to have some quiet reading time with your child.  The actual lessons may go much better than you expect too, because your child is getting the extra sensory input from the water during the lesson.

Autistism-  Kids with autism will benefit greatly from the increased body awareness and strengthening.  However, you may want to consider private lessons, if your child has difficulty dealing with the noise of a large swimming lesson class.

Down Syndrome -   Your child needs the strengthening as much as any child- and if needed can repeat the same level of swimming lessons as many times as needed before progressing.  Many children need to take a level repeatedly to be able to continue to the next.  Taking a Level 1 swimming class a few times still gives your child the great experience of swimming.

Cerebral Palsy-  The strengthening and coordination will be great for your child.  If your child is very weak or has significantly limited use of one or more limbs, you should consider private lessons, and screen for a teacher who is excited to work with your child.

Afraid of Water-  For a child who is truly afraid of the water, swimming lessons need to be carefully considered.  The best parenting move may be to take your child to the pool yourself, let the child wear a life jacket, and become more comfortable with the water before attempting lessons.  If your child is under 6, you may want to try a Preschool Level 1 class- which does a lot of play and gives children a gentle introduction to the water.    

How I taught my dog to be a dog, my adventure as a doggy occupational therapist

Buddy- our schnoodle, shortly after adoption

About a year ago, my kids talked me into getting them a dog.  I had told them we couldn't have a dog until the youngest was potty trained, so the day after she started wearing panties, I was informed it was time for a dog.  I made a long list of requirements for said dog- he or she needed to be about a year old and already house broken, about 15-30 pounds- too big for a hawk to carry off but small enough I could pick it up easily, a breed that didn't shed much, and good with children.  I knew it was a very long wish list, but I also knew that many many great dogs end up in rescues each year, and since I had a great friend, Vicky,  who was actively doing rescue, I figured it would work out eventually.

After only 2 months of looking and thinking, we found Buddy.  Buddy's rescue owner said he was well behaved, house broken, about a year old, 24 pounds, good with kids and didn't shed.  PERFECT!  So, as quickly as possible, Buddy became a member of our family.  For the first 2 weeks, he was the perfect dog- he acted house broken, cuddled the kids, touched nothing that wasn't his, and slept in the floor at the foot of my bed.   After those 2 weeks though- Buddy started having accidents in the house, chewing up the kids' toys, and acting insane about being left alone.  Vicky said she would take him back if I couldn't handle him, but I just didn't want my kids telling their therapist some day about how "Mom got us a dog, but after 2 weeks she gave it away, that's why I do drugs."  

So, I started learning how to train a dog.  I read a few books and blogs, and realized that it was like parenting.  There are all kinds of experts with opinions, but you have to figure out what works for you.  So, my first big task was to figure out what was going on with the accidents in the house, because those made me the most crazy.  SO we looked for a pattern, it turned out that on rainy days, Buddy was finding papers on the floor under my daughter's desk and using those.  He must have been paper trained at some point.  The solution to that, was to actually walk him on rainy days, and teach my daughter to clean up under her desk.  I did yell "No" at the dog when I found his messes, and put him outside in what the kids called "doggy time out."  After a few weeks of walking him in the rain, I started just putting him in the back yard in the rain- I just explained to him he was going to have to learn to be a tough dog who could go take a dump in the rain.  And when he came in, I dried him with a towel.

We also realized he had a pattern of having accidents in the house after being left alone- not while left alone, he was always in a kennel or outside while I was gone, but after I returned, he would hide and poo or pee in the house.   I emailed Vicky to ask, what the heck, and learned that Buddy had had 3 owners in 4 months, and then been given to the rescue group when they were doing a adoption day at a local store.  So, counting the rescue and us, we knew he had had 5 homes in 6 months.  Well, that's enough to make anyone a little neurotic, isn't it?  I then realized, that if we had been gone for a day (I stay home with my kids, so there were many days we did not leave the house), Buddy didn't want to go outside and be away from us when we returned.  The solution for that was that if we were gone for a few hours, after we returned and settled in, someone had to actually take the dog for a walk, or go in the yard with him.  That relieved his anxiety of being alone, and reduced the accidents.

At the same time we were working on the house breaking thing, I was dealing  with the fact that all our Barbie dolls had become amputees- apparently their feet were just yummy.  So we bought him some raw hide treats that were long and thin like Barbie's legs.  He liked those.  I also saw that there was a pattern in how Buddy chewed up the kids' toys on days they didn't play with him- so I added "play with the dog" to our daily list of tasks to be sure got done.  Before having a dog, I thought that would come naturally, but it turns out, that had to be a learned behavior for us.

While playing with Buddy, I soon realized, he really didn't know how to play like a dog.  So I set out to teach him how to play fetch.  I kept a pocket full of small treats, and would throw a ball, when he brought it back, he got a treat.  After just a couple of days of working on it, he got pretty good at the game.  I also worked on the command "sit" a lot.  I realized that his high anxiety needed to be combated with some behavior therapy, so I taught him to sit for a treat.  And after he could do it well, I started extending how many seconds he had to sit to get the treat.  By forcing my anxious, jumpy dog to be still, even though it was just for 5-10 seconds, I was forcing his brain to settle down, and learn that I liked for him to be calm.   After a year, he still can't sit for more than about 30 seconds when waiting for a treat, but I think the practice of learning to be still and wait, has helped calm him in other situations, like when he is left alone.

One day, we took Buddy with us to a friend's house, and our friend tossed some treats for the dogs (his and ours) into the yard from his deck.  His dog, ran and found the treats.  My dog just looked confused.   I saw another opportunity to teach my dog how to be a dog.  So I started working with him on this skill.  I had to start slowly, tossing a treat just a few feet away.  Then I progressed to tossing it where he could easily see it, then a few more feet away.  Eventually he figured out how to watch for which area of the yard I was throwing the treat, and then used his nose to smell for where it was.  I am pretty sure before that, my dog really didn't know how to use his nose to find treats, we had tried various games we found in a dog training book, and poor Buddy just hadn't understood the game.

Another training activity that a friend explained to me, was the trick of teaching a dog who has run away from you, to come back.  She suggested I just keep a small treat with me, and whenever my dog ran out the front door, I give him a treat when he came back to me.  This may have been the best tip of all, as it helped me train my dog to actually come when called.

Because Buddy got so anxious and upset when left alone, I tried wrapping him in an ace wrap a few times- to give him the same effect as the "thunder shirts" they sell for dogs.  Looking at them, I realized it was a pressure vest, like I used to put on kids in schools.  Buddy didn't seem to like it though, so we gave up on that.

We have a kennel for Buddy in our dining room, and it seems that having his own special small space makes him feel safe and happy. It reminds me of how small chidden sometimes need a special spot, like a tent or cubby hole to hide in, away from everyone else.

 He is a much more balance and happy dog these days.  He still has an accident in the house on occasion, but they are much more rare.  He jumps up on people more than we would like, but even that is getting better with some patience and correction.  For jumping- we tell him no, I turn my back on him, and won't pet him unless his feet are on the ground- if he jumps on the kids too much, I put him in the yard for a short time out.  And then I let him come in and try acting the right way.  Jumping is now only a problem when we have left him alone for a while, and he is overly excited to see us again.

Before having a dog, I really had no clue how much "parenting" a dog takes.  I do feel like I have given my dog occupational therapy to teach him how to be a dog- or at least how to be a good pet.  Because that is his job- to be a great pet for our family.